More Than a Score: Navigating the Emotional Landscape of the 11-Plus Exam and Secondary School Transition
My Emotional Journey Through the Common Entrance Examination
My daughter recently completed her Common Entrance or 11-plus Examination and has begun her secondary school journey this term. As I celebrate her transition from primary to secondary education, I have found myself navigating many emotions, especially leading up to the exam day and when she received her results. My own experience with the Common Entrance Examination profoundly influenced my emotional landscape.
The Legacy of Labels: How Schools Shape Self-Perception in Barbados
During my last two years of primary school, I became acutely aware of the class and ranking system associated with secondary schools in Barbados. One unforgettable memory that comes to mind is an interaction I had with another child’s parent after I got back my Common Entrance results. When she inquired about what secondary school I would attend, she misheard me and thought I said I had passed to “Harrisons,” a school she held in high esteem because her face lit up with genuine joy. However, when I repeated myself specifying that the school was “Garrison,” her expression shifted dramatically to unmistakable disappointment.
The Overlooked Impact of Social Status and Community Metrics
This transformative experience and many other impactful and more subtle encounters played a pivotal role in shaping my self-perception during my formative years. Although, in this community, laypeople and experts often contend that the particular secondary school one attends doesn’t dictate future success, such viewpoints are overly simplistic. They neglect to account for the profound influence of social standing and community-defined success metrics related to secondary schools on the island and how social standing and these metrics have a defining impact on how a young person might view and understand themselves.
The Power of Words: Labeling and Its Effects on Children’s Self-Perception
Extensive research has explored the significant impact of labelling on children’s self-perceptions, how other people view them, and the child’s potential. Phrases such as “You got into a good school,” media coverage highlighting students who have “excelled in the exam” to gain admission to elite older secondary schools, and congratulatory remarks directed at both children and their parents for their child securing spots in older secondary schools can all have a profound influence. Such labels and commentary can destabilise a young person’s self-concept and negatively affect their behaviour.
Parental Responsibility: Steering the Ship in Stormy Waters
As a new school year commences and children transition into secondary education, parents and guardians must understand the profound impact of negative labelling, especially concerning the 11-plus examination, on their child’s self-worth and future performance. Addressing this issue is not merely advisable but essential, particularly for those whose children may not have excelled in the 11-plus and are likely to attend newer secondary schools. In my experience collaborating with parents and training educators, we frequently explore a range of practical strategies to mitigate the adverse effects of such labelling. These approaches often focus on mindful language choices during interactions with children and a committed effort to identify and celebrate children’s strengths.
Beyond the Parental Sphere: The Extended Network of Influence
Language shapes our perception of reality, and our conversations significantly influence our self-identity. The power of language underscores the crucial role that parents and guardians play in carefully curating the messages they impart to their children. It is especially vital to distinguish between a child’s actions and their inherent worth. This distinction entails reminding children that their academic performance or school’s reputation does not determine their value as individuals. Such dialogues should not be isolated but an ongoing series of meaningful interactions.
Moreover, children don’t just communicate with their parents; they also interact with a broader network of relatives and neighbours. Consequently, parents and guardians must proactively address and challenge the societal language and expectations that these other adults may communicate to their children, particularly regarding academic achievement and standardised tests like the Common Entrance examination.
Confronting and Changing Harmful Language in the Family
Addressing expectations may involve educating family members and neighbours about the importance of the language they employ when discussing school-related matters. I recall guiding a parent to confront her brother, who regularly made jokes unfavourably comparing his nieces and nephews, labelling them as "duncey" or "bright." Although taking a stand initially led to tension, it ultimately encouraged her brother to reconsider his words and make positive changes.
Celebrating Uniqueness: How to Boost Your Child’s Self-Worth
Parents and guardians must redouble their efforts to recognise and celebrate their children's unique talents in light of the damaging stigmas often associated with the Common Entrance Exam. One effective strategy I recommend is for caregivers to compile an inventory of their child's skills and gifts. Not only should they acknowledge these attributes internally, but they should also make a concerted effort to praise their children for these qualities openly. Furthermore, I have engaged in meaningful dialogues with parents about the importance of taking deliberate moments to notice and commend their children's successes, whether they occur at home, among siblings, with friends, or in the various extracurricular activities they participate in.
Future Directions: What Needs to Change in Our Community
While, ultimately, we need to rid ourselves, as a community, of the Common Entrance Examination and the stratification system associated with secondary school, there are things in the interim that we will need to do to preserve the well-being of our children. These preservation strategies include making mindful language choices during interactions with children and committing to identify and celebrate our children’s strengths.
Want to learn more about how to preserve your child’s self-worth after the 11-plus examination? Contact our office about resources and individual and family therapy.
Jomo Phillips, Couple & Family Therapist
